On Going to Church...

-photo from our home church-

I've recently come across a couple of blog posts that I really liked regarding the topic of "going to church."  This is a topic that is close to my heart.  I grew up in church - the daughter of a baptist preacher.  Yep, I'm a P.K.  Church has always been a big part of my life.  Growing up, I went with my parents on Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, and Wednesday nights.  I was a member of youth group as a teen.  Church was just a natural part of life and I'm forever grateful for that gift.  However, I know this isn't the case for many.  I know that some of you struggle with church attendance for many reasons - busy work schedules, challenging with little kids, bad church experiences in your past, or not having ever really attended and it not being at all comfortable or natural for you... among many other possible reasons.

Our home church is in our hometown and is the church that my dad is the pastor of.  However, we have lived an hour away from there for the past five years.  Over these five years, we have attended a big non-denominational church.  We loved the worship and the pastor there - his sermons were awesome.  The problem was that we just didn't ever get plugged in or connected.  After we had Holden, we went and wrestled him during service or went to the cry room because we didn't want to leave him in child care.  Eventually, we did put him in childcare - some time after turning one.  But childcare there seemed chaotic, overcrowded, and just not right.  When I dropped him off, nobody really greeted us or paid him any special attention.  I think it was just too crowded.  So, because we never wanted to take him to child care we basically started only going to church when we were back "home-home."  On "off-weekends" we watched a church service on television.  This continued after having Brooks.

That seemed fine for a while... but I really missed BEING IN church.  I missed the worship aspect.  And isn't that really the biggest part?  Taking time out of your busy life to stop and worship Him?  I believe that the point of church isn't what you GET out of it... but what you GIVE.  The point of church is not to serve yourself, but to serve HIM.  While I believe that you can worship God anywhere, it just didn't feel like enough to me.  And honestly, I wasn't worshipping while watching televised church at home.  I was distractedly watching/listening.  I wasn't singing Him praises and I wasn't truly having a heart of worship.  It was easy... but I know that the best things in life aren't easy.  Most of the time, if something is easy - you aren't doing it right or to your full ability.

I started considering going to a local church which is a branch/campus of another, very large church that is farther away in the "big city."  The main thing that was holding me back was that this campus' sermon is basically simulcasted from the main campus - ie.) the preacher is on screens, not actually in person.  Then one day, I was talking to my neighbor who is a previous co-worker of mine.  She told me that she attended there.  She explained that they have their own worship team and their own campus pastors who are there in person - they do not preach the sermon- but they handle other parts of the service and are there for all other pastoral aspects.  So, we decided to go to a Saturday evening service one evening when hubs was off work.  We checked both babes into childcare - which was immediately a better experience than at the other church.  The "class" sizes were smaller and the workers were very friendly, welcoming, and reassuring.  We really enjoyed the service!  It is still a big church but significantly smaller than the other. It is a much smaller, more intimate feel.  The worship was awesome and I barely even noticed that the pastor preaching the sermon wasn't actually there in person.  At the other church, we basically watched the pastor on screens anyway - because we were so far away from him in the huge crowd.  So it didn't feel much different.  We walked away feeling good about it.

I decided to waste no time getting plugged in this time around.  Bible studies/groups were starting a new semester the following week.  I e-mailed someone about getting involved with a mom's group.  Unfortunately, they were at capacity.  I asked if there were any openings in any of the bible studies with childcare provided - and one was suggested.  I asked a friend if she and her little girl wanted to join us and they did!  We were signed up and our first meeting was that Wednesday!

It has been going great so far and I honestly look forward to it so much each week.  It isn't easy to get out the door and to bible study by 9:30 a.m. with two littles by myself but we do it anyway.  And it is always worth it.  Brooks always cries when I leave him but then he is fine once I'm out of sight.  Holden sometimes cries when I leave him, as does my friend's little girl.  But my new motto is, "I can do hard things."  I am proud of us for taking the plunge and I give God all the glory!

The bible study we are a part of is kind of an overview of the Bible in eight weeks.  It's very interesting and I am learning so much.  Even though I have always gone to church, I feel like I am lacking in bible knowledge... and that is probably because I've never truly studied it.  That's changing now and I'm so happy about it.  There is also value in being a part of a community of believers - people to pray for you, support, and encourage you.  There are some older women in our group and I love that we are able to learn from them and from their example.  Many of them have been Christians all of their lives, and yet, there they are.  Still passionate about Jesus and still yearning to learn more.

If you are on the fence about going to church, I just want to encourage you to take the plunge.  Find a place where you belong.  Get involved.  I told a friend recently that I never regret going to church - only not going.  If you've considered it, discussed it, but just haven't done anything about it - just do something.  If you have to go alone, just go.  With other things in life that we really want, we make it happen.  We take the steps required to get what we want.  This should be no different.  The only difference should be the sense of urgency attached to it.  It is more important than the other stuff.  Don't wait.  Don't miss out on all that God has for you.  He is good and faithful.  He can give you peace, joy, and hope that you have never felt before.  He is the light of this dark world.

I often think that if someone I love who doesn't know Him or know him well... or someone who has been wanting to go to church but hasn't... wanted to give me a gift... the best gift they could give me would be to see them in church.  There is NOTHING that would make me happier.

For what it's worth.

And also, links to the blog posts I read recently.... others say it better than I can most of the time. ;)

http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/2014/02/so-you-want-to-find-church.html

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/church/5-really-bad-reasons-leave-your-church

* The above is about "bad reasons to leave your church" but I think they can also be reasons why you never choose a church to begin with.  Could also be titled, "Bad Reasons to Just Not Go to Church."

How Waiting and Miscarriage Changed Me - For Better

If you haven't read my post "How Waiting and Miscarriage Changed Me- For Worse" go read it first and then come back.

Preface copied over from previous post:

As most of you know, we experienced a miscarriage a few years ago, in April 2010.  Our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at ten weeks pregnant.  Before that miscarriage, we had tried for 6 months to get pregnant and after that miscarriage we tried for 9 months to get pregnant again.  Now is where I feel it necessary to say that I know that there are many people, some of you reading now, who have tried much longer, have had multiple miscarriages, etc.  I realize it could have been worse for us and I hate that it has been for you.  Just the same, it was a wait that felt long and brutal to us and a loss that broke our hearts.

Although years have passed and we have been richly blessed with two beautiful sons, I am forever changed by the experience of desperately waiting to become pregnant and by the experience of losing a baby.  Everyone processes miscarriage/grief/loss differently.  My heart has healed with time and with the redeeming healthy pregnancies and births of my beautiful boys.  However, there is not a day that goes by that I don't remember.  There isn't a day that goes by that my heart doesn't break for those going through similar situations. My heart and mind have been changed forever, for better and for worse. 

Today, I want to share a few ways it changed me "for better:"

1. A perspective of thankfulness.  Because of our wait and loss, I have an underlying, overwhelming sense of thankfulness.  I understand what a great gift my children are.  When I get weary "mommying," I am brought back to my senses by gratitude.  I don't take my two healthy pregnancies and babies for granted.  I remember where I used to be... and when I was there, the only place I wanted to be is where I am now.  I am very grateful for the perspective it has given me.  Although, it is a difficult time in my life to remember... I pray that God will help me to always remember it like it was yesterday so that I will always be thankful for being on the other side of it.  I also want the feelings to stay fresh because I want to be relatable to others currently going through it... which takes me to number two...

2. It has given me a ministry. This experience has made me relatable to other women going through the same situations.  I am thankful that God gave me the courage to be open with our story.  It isn't a "huge" story by the measures of others, but it is a story that I believe God has used and will continue to use to help others.  There have been many women that have reached out to me after experiencing a miscarriage, simply because they knew I had been through it before.  I have truly felt blessed to be able to be a source of support for them.  The grief of a miscarriage can be a lonely and confusing grief... and knowing that I might make it just a little less so for someone is what it's all about for me.  I love how God can bring beauty from pain.  I hope that I can always use this trying time in my life to help others and to ultimately bring glory to God.  

3. It strengthened my relationship with God. I clung to God's word for comfort like never before.  I dug in and looked for anything He had for me that would bring me peace... and He delivered.  I was already a Christian but this trial required me to live out my faith when it wasn't easy.  It had been pretty smooth sailing for me up until this point.  I had to trust Him like never before.  I look back now and know that clinging to His promises for me were what got me through.  The Bible became real to me through this experience.  It became alive and so applicable to my life.  I am so thankful for that.

If you are going through a similar situation or have gone through one in the past, I pray that you will seek God during this time.  I pray that you will choose to cling to him instead of turn your back on him.  God is good.  He loves you and I believe his heart breaks when the hearts of his children are broken.  Difficult things happen in this life... ugly, horrible, tragic, messed-up, awful, sad things.  I do not believe God is responsible for those things, but instead he is there to rescue us from them.  (One of my favorite verses: "The Lord is close to the broken hearted, and rescues those who are crushed in spirit.") God has the unique capability of taking these horrible things and turning them into something good... if you'll just let him.  It doesn't mean that it won't still be awful and you won't still hurt, but he will enable you to have a "better" to go along with your "worse."  Without him, my story only has "the worse" side.

I also pray that, when you feel up to it, you will seek someone out who has been through a similar situation.  Sometimes they just understand like nobody else can.

I am so grateful for "the better."

To read more about my experience with pregnancy loss, click here.

baby friends!

Behold the cuteness of three little baby friends. Every time I see Holden with my friends' babies my heart nearly explodes. Sometimes it is all I can do to not tear up at just the sight of them. It seems like just yesterday we were living in our college apartment, shopping or "working out" or doing anything else we could possibly do to procrastinate studying. Just yesterday we were staying up late talking and being silly and laughing hysterically. Now we sit around and talk silly to our babies and gush about every little thing they do.

I am so thankful to not be going through this season of "new mommy-hood" alone. So thankful for these adorable, precious babies. So thankful for, and in awe of, God's perfect timing. Any time I need a reminder that He is in control- I can just look at these adorable faces and know that His plans are better than mine.

A Few Things I Believe In...

I believe in... taking a nap with my baby whenever he will allow it (rarely).... and leaving the laundry and filthy floors behind.

I believe in... giving my husband a kiss and telling him I love him every night.

I believe in... allowing myself some "me time" every once in a while and not feeling guilty about it.

I believe in... acting extremely and embarrassingly silly to get my baby to giggle outrageously.  (I have a great iphone video of this very thing if I can ever figure out how to post it...)

I believe in... pushing myself to accomplish a goal that I never thought I would accomplish.

I believe in... being kind and conscious of other's feelings.

I believe in... indulging in a latte when the mood strikes.

I believe in... encouraging others.

I believe in... getting together with friends often.

I believe in... taking lots of pictures of the people you love...even if you aren't a great photographer.

I believe in... making time for family.

I believe in... dressing my baby like a baby... because he will be wearing big boy clothes way too soon.

I believe in... not washing my hair every day.

I believe in... listening to and singing Christian music.

I believe in... the power of prayer.

I believe in... kissing baby cheeks.

I believe in... beach vacations.

I believe in... drinking Diet Dr. Pepper in any form and McDonald's fountain Diet Coke.

I believe in... greeting cards.

I believe in... pets.

I believe in... true LOVE.

I believe in... gift giving.

I believe in... retail therapy.

I believe in... clearance racks.

I believe in... eliminating negativity.

I believe in... blogging. 

I believe in... God's faithfulness.

My Facebook & Pinterest Hiatus...

In this post, I told about how I was giving up facebook and pinterest for lent.

So, how did I ever live without facebook?  AND pinterest?!  Is it even possible to live without them?

Well, the answer is yes.  Yes, it is possible.  For a month or so at least. ;)

In all seriousness, it was difficult for me.  Some of you expressed to me that you couldn't imagine giving up Pinterest.  I actually hardly missed it at all, which kind of surprised me.  I was a pretty regular pinner and love to browse and pin.  I did find myself wishing I could pin something from a blog here and there...but instead, I (gasp!) bookmarked them.  Remember bookmarking pages?  That's what we did before Pinterest!  Admittedly, I do prefer the nice layout of the pin boards to refer to.  However, I never really desperately craved getting on Pinterest.  I missed it...but it wasn't nagging at me.  Sometimes Pinterest can make one feel a bit overwhelmed and kind of like a loser in general.  "Why didn't you think of this ridiculously simple, clever, life-changing idea that has now been pinned five billion times?"  "Why can't you fix your hair while following this awesome, step-by-step tutorial?!"  "Why aren't you skinny enough to wear these adorable outfits?"  "Why are you pinning such unhealthy food, you irresponsible pig?"  "Why can't you sew, crochet, knit, paint, or use a gluestick?"  (Anyone else's boards talk to them like that?!)  Overdramatic?  Maybe a little.  But back-to-being-serious, I don't think I'm the only one who sort of feels like I have pin boards full of homework that I'm either going to fail or never get around to doing.  Point being...it was kind of nice to have a break from all that....and I was perfectly content living without all of those earth-shattering ideas.

Facebook.  Well, Facebook was a different story for me.  I will admit that I am (was?) a bit of a Facebook addict.  I like social interaction and as a SAHM, I crave a little adult interaction during my day.  I also love keeping up with people that I wouldn't have the opportunity to otherwise.  I really missed looking at the photos people post of themselves, their babies/kids, pets, etc.  Photo sharing is the best part of Facebook if you ask me.  So yes, I missed it a lot.  I was tempted to get on it at times. I did have to get on Facebook to communicate with a photographer and other similar situations, but I tried to stay on task and then get off.  I deleted the app on my phone to avoid that temptation.

Not being on Facebook made me realize that I had been on it too much before.  I would like to find a happy medium with it.  I am considering deleting the app on my phone indefinitely.  It is just too convenient.  Any free moment and I just click on the facebook app.  It's unnecessary and I like to have my mind freed up for other things.  When I'm feeding Holden, I want to be focusing on him.  If I have a spare minute, I'd like to spend it in quiet time with God.  As of right now, I have the app on my phone... we'll see how it goes... I may end up getting rid of it.  I do like to post and share pictures on Facebook...but with the help of Instagram, I can share photos without even getting on Facebook at all.

Facebook and other social media have their pros and cons.  I enjoy being able to interact with people on Facebook and I find that it is a good place to love on people, to encourage people, and to share my faith.  It is also a great place to receive encouragement and support and I have lots of awesome, sweet Facebook friends who are very encouraging to me.  If I am using it for those things and if I am spending a reasonable amount of time on it, then I feel that I am using it well.

Overall, the hiatus was good.  I did feel like my mind was clearer - I had more freed-up space to concentrate on other things.  I spent more time seeking God's word and praying and just being in a more receptive state of mind.  Life is busy with or without Facebook and Pinterest....and I honestly did not spend as much time reading the Bible as I had hoped.  Carving out daily time with God is a constant work-in-progress for me.  I am like everyone else... I struggle with self-discipline and with setting my priorities straight at times.  I'm working on it... and I'm going to continue to try working even harder.  If that means deleting my Facebook app, so be it.

If you are feeling overwhelmed with social media, if you feel like you need a clearer mind, if you desire to spend more time just living in the present, or if you need to make some time for God, try a little hiatus.  It does a body (and mind, and soul) good.

What Inspires Me...

I am linking up for an "Inspirational Blog Hop" today.  When I saw the idea for it I thought it sounded like such a great topic for a link-up.  When I started thinking about what inspires me though, I got a little overwhelmed because SO many things inspire me in different ways.  So here goes... we'll see where this leads....

First of all, one of the BEST parts about blogging is finding so many amazing blogs to read.  I have found SO many great blogs/bloggers that are so, so inspiring!  Depending on what type of blog it is, it may inspire me in one of these areas: interior decorating and design, craftiness, fashion, beauty, motherhood, family life, faith, or Christian living.  These blogs make me want to redecorate my house, learn to sew, buy a bunch of new make-up, get a haircut, dress better, be the best mommy/wife I can be, and to always be strengthening my relationship with Christ.  I love that I can sit down with my cup of coffee during Holden's nap...log into blogger...and get inspired in so many ways!

Love inspires me.  The love my husband and I share inspires me in many ways.  It inspires me to be a good wife.  It inspires me because it gives me something to always look forward to - spending time together.  My husband inspires me to be a better person just because of the incredible person he is.  All of my dreams include him.  I could go on...and on.......and on.... but I'll stop making you gag. ;)

My sweet baby boy inspires me.  A mother's love is the newest type of love in my life... I've been experiencing it for six whole months now.  Wow, what an inspiration our Holden Ezra is... and he doesn't even know it!  He gives my life purpose - he inspires me to get up in the morning (to become a morning person- ha!).  He inspires me to be selfless and to be the best mommy and person I can be for him.  He inspires me to lead by example, to model Christ's love, to be an example of Godliness for him.  His precious face, the sounds he makes, his giggles, all inspire me to smile when I don't feel like it, to laugh, and to be even sillier than I was before him.  He inspires me to increase my prayer life through praying over him every night before I lay him down to sleep.  He inspires me to get outside and walk every day because he loves it and because I want to be healthy for him.  He inspires me to see the world through the eyes of a child and to have child-like faith.  I think it would be safe to say that he inspires me in every area of my life!

My family and friends inspire me in many ways.  Without getting specific about each person I will just say that  different ones of them inspire and teach me different things: selflessness, dedication, commitment to others and to the Lord, innocence, confidence, hard work, facing adversity, juggling careers and family, craftiness, how to be a good friend, and the list goes on.

I'm not a huge art and music fanatic.  I like art and I like music and both have inspired me at times... but it is in people that I find the most inspiration.  It strikes me that this is ironic because it is also in people that I often find the most disappointment.  Sometimes people make me feel the opposite of inspired.

But that's where Jesus comes in.  Thankfully, I don't have to rely on only people for my true inspiration....because people aren't perfect and people will always fail me at some point.  Unfortunately, I often fail to rely on God's word for my inspiration.  Inspiration is right there in the Bible for me any time I need it... inspiration on any given topic from the One who knows me best and knows what's best for me.  And because I serve a living Savior.... I receive inspiration from Him not only through the Bible but in real-life-real-time.  It is His inspiration that tugs at me and makes my heart beat extra fast when I know He is calling me to do something.  It is His example and His grace that inspires me because I know that living the way He wants me to live is the secret to living a more abundant  the most abundant life.

And in the end, isn't the inspiration we all seek (in whatever form it may take on) being sought for that purpose?

Please Pray...Part II

I posted yesterday about the devastation that has occurred in our county due to the tornadoes that ripped through on Friday.  Each day brings new stories.  Today, I learned of a 36 year old mother who had to have both of her legs amputated.  Her husband (who wasn't home) called her to tell her that it looked like they were in the direct path of the tornado.  She and her two children went to the basement of their 8,000 square foot, newly built dream home.  Even in the basement of this large, stone and brick house, they were not safe.  She laid on top of her kids to protect them and they are alive and well because of her.  She has a long road of recovery ahead of her and her life will never be the same.  Please pray for her.  Here's her story.

Today, just three days after the tornadoes...our area is covered in snow...the most snow we've had all winter.  This is some crazy, crazy weather we are having around here.  I can only imagine that the snow is not helping with recovering belongings and clean-up efforts, etc.

I just can't stop thinking about all of the tragedy that has occurred.  Our church has teamed up with Samaritan's Purse to help with disaster relief in Henryville and I hope that Shon and I will get to go help...maybe next week when he is off work and we can get a babysitter.  I just want to do something to help.  I feel so fortunate and blessed and so helpless to help those less fortunate.

This devastation is "too close for comfort" for us.  When we are under tornado warnings, I am usually a little worried but honestly, I don't ever really think anything is going to happen to us.  Now, I'm going to be very scared the next time we are under tornado warnings.  We don't have a basement.  It freaks me out a million times more now that we have a baby.  You just never know, friends....you just never know.  These people were leading their normal lives minutes before their worlds came crashing down.

I am praying for peace and comfort and strength for these families.  I feel like my words are hollow and are not doing this tragedy justice.  But God knows my heart and I know that God is with each person involved.  I believe His heart hurts when His people are hurting.  Only He can bring them peace that passes all understanding.

I am also praying for anyone who does not know Jesus as their personal savior.  I am praying that if you have not accepted Jesus as Lord of your life...if you have not accepted His gift of salvation...I pray that you will not put it off for a second longer.  If something has been holding you back, please address whatever that is and start doing whatever you need to do to come to know Christ.  If you don't know what it means to accept Him or if you don't know how or if you have any other questions, you can e-mail me at sbhubert@att.net.  The people affected by these storms probably did not think anything like this would ever happen to them either.  I can only hope and pray that they had accepted Jesus before they died. I don't know what tomorrow holds but I do know the peace and comfort of knowing Who holds tomorrow.  You can have that blessed assurance, too.

This verse was the verse I clung to while grieving after our miscarriage.  While that loss seems rather small in magnitude when compared to this great tragedy, I think this verse still very much applies and provides comfort and hope....

“The Lord is near to those who are broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

Goodbye, Facebook...and Pinterest.

{via}

Today is my first day of "no facebook" and "no pinterest."  Yep, you read that right.  Yesterday, I decided to give them up for a while.  I'm sure you've all been hearing about what people are giving up for Lent or perhaps deciding what you will give up yourself.   I am not Catholic and have not ever given up anything for Lent.  However, I got to thinking about it with seeing everyone's statuses and posts.  I really like the concept of making a sacrifice to remind myself of the ultimate sacrifice God made for me when He sent His only Son to die on the cross for my sins.

It didn't take me long to start feeling God telling me exactly what to give up.  Personally, I felt that I should give up something that eats up my time...something that I spend time doing instead of spending time with God.  Enter facebook and pinterest.  I am on facebook way too much.  It is such easy access because of the app on my phone.  Whenever there's a dull moment, click on the app.  Same goes for pinterest.  Guess what app I have right beside my facebook app and my pinterest app?  A bible app.  I hate to think of how many times I have gone to the facebook or pinterest app instead of the bible app.  It is truly shameful.

Not only do these things eat up my time but they also tend to, at times, fill my mind with negative thoughts.  Facebook is drama city.  Everyone is a little braver and bolder.  I know lots of things about people that I really don't need to know and wouldn't know if not for facebook.  I sometimes get angry because of what people post.  I am often tempted to argue with posts I disagree with....although I usually refrain from doing so.  At times, facebook has been an outlet for people to post hateful things about people I know and love....which has caused me heartache and stress.  Yet time after time, I am choosing it over God.  How does it make sense to continue choosing something that often elicits negative feelings within over the encouragement, strength, hope, and love God provides?  It doesn't.  Not one bit of sense.

Now, I don't think facebook is the root of all evil.  Most often, facebook provides me with a social outlet and that is important since I stay home and can feel isolated at times.  I also have lots of wonderful facebook friends who make the sweetest comments about Holden and this blog and other random things and I love all of those comments and compliments.  They are encouraging and uplifting and I truly appreciate each one.  I enjoy staying in touch with people that I wouldn't otherwise have the opportunity to stay in touch with.  I love looking at all of the pictures of engagements, marriages, pregnancies, babies, etc.  That part is not going to be fun to give up.  I am afraid that I may get lonely and feel very isolated from the lack of socialization.  However, I think having those feelings are proof that I'm giving up the right thing.  I want to depend on God to fill those "holes."  I want and need to depend on HIS encouragement and I want to have a clearer mind and heart to focus on what HE has to tell me.  I need to rely on Him more than myself or others.

Of course, I couldn't just give up facebook.  Don't want to do anything half way. ;)  Immediately after posting on facebook that I would be taking a break from it and pinterest until after Easter, I was regretting it.  I was kicking myself for giving up both.  Couldn't I have just given up one?!  But almost as immediately as those thoughts entered...I could hear God saying, "Uhhhh....seriously, Beth Ann?  I DIED a horrible death for you and you can't give up two forms of social media?"  Point taken.

I have chosen to keep blogging because I want to continue documenting our lives and because I hope to continue to use it as a form of encouragement for others.  Many blogs I read encourage and inspire me in my walk with God which is a good thing....and my hope always is that God uses me and this blog to do the same for others.

I read this article last night and this part really resonates with me:

A lot of people ask how giving up something like chocolate or soda can help your relationship with Jesus.  It’s simple, really.  We are supposed to love Jesus above all else; and as Christians, we want to love Jesus above all else.  So we practice.  We practice by refusing ourselves some lesser good—not because enjoying that lesser good is wrong, but because by refusing that lesser good, we are showing and increasing our love for He that is the greatest good.  If we don’t practice saying no to ourselves and to lesser goods, then our prayer becomes empty.  I can’t truly say that I love God more than anything if I’m unable to do something as simple as giving up dessert as an act of love for Him.

This is something that is going to be hard for me to do without but I feel like I am doing what God wants me to do and that is a great feeling.  I trust that God will bless me during this time and I am excited about depending more on Him.

I'll keep you posted. ;)

...because what's a post without a picture of my SWEET boy? :)

the only thing of significance...

It seems that this week has found me in somewhat of a blogging slump.  Or maybe just a slump in general.  Every morning during Holden's nap, I get my coffee and sit in front of the computer.  I read blogs and I am entertained and inspired as usual.  I want to write, but I open up the screen and just sit.  Sometimes, nothing seems significant enough....especially when you think about what others are going through around you.

In my hometown recently, a 20 year old young man was killed in a horrible, tragic accident.  The man that hit him, from what I understand, is a wonderful husband and father (and paramedic) who loves kids.  I can't imagine his broken heart and the guilt that he feels even though everyone knows it was an accident.  I can't imagine the grief of the young man's family.  I think of my baby boy...of watching him grow up into a young man....of all those years of loving him like crazy...and yet twenty years could never be enough.  I think of the things he didn't get to experience...the best parts of life...marrying someone you love and becoming a parent.  It's all so tragic and it just makes you stop and think, "My gosh.  We truly never know what tomorrow may hold."

Also in my hometown, there are several children fighting horrific illnesses, including cancer.  I can't imagine the fear and helplessness those parents feel.  I feel bad when I can't figure out what's causing Holden to cry.  I want to fix everything for him and fast.  So I can't imagine watching the painful procedures.  I can't imagine having to send my baby off for tests and surgeries.  I can't imagine all that these parents face from day to day.

Tripp's story is a familiar one in the blogging world.  I cannot imagine what his mommy is going through right now....how deeply she aches....how empty and lost she must feel.  It is a horror that I hope and pray I never have to experience.  Lately, when I am exasperated by a bedtime struggle or constant spit-up or just wanting a little break...I think of Tripp's mommy...and how she would give anything to have her baby back to put to bed, to clean the spit up, to change a diaper....all of the things we take for granted.  I think of how she had to endure so much more than my petty little issues every single day and that she would give up everything to be able to do it again.

So, no, I don't have much to write about because everything seems so stupid and irrelevant.

Every time something tragic happens, we all get a dose of reality.  We all vow to love better, complain less, and cherish every moment with those we love.  Then what happens?  Within days, weeks if we're lucky, we have moved on to being the same selfish and ungrateful people we were before.

Do we ever truly understand how fragile life is?  How our lives could change drastically at any second?  Or does it take living it to realize it?  We are all so consumed by the hustle and bustle of life that we don't worry about what might happen if we didn't wake up tomorrow.  Would we have left important things unsaid?  More importantly, have we taken the time we've been given to concern ourselves with what will happen to us if we were to leave this world tomorrow?  Or what would happen to the ones we love?

Can we ever fully grasp that THIS LIFE is not our real one?  That THIS LIFE is not the life that is going to fulfill us...that we will NEVER be truly fulfilled in this life, in this world?  This life is far from perfect.  It is filled with so many bad things, so much stress, so much heartache.

I take comfort in the fact that I may not know what tomorrow holds, but I do know who holds tomorrow.  When life really sucks (and for me, in comparison to those mentioned above, it never actually even sucks)...I take comfort in knowing that one day I will be living eternally and that life will be free from heartache, stress, death, grief, pain, frustration, heartbreak, sickness.  I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and by His grace alone I am saved.  I am free from the shackles of this life because of the price He paid and the gift He freely gives.

I don't like to get all "preachy."  But sometimes, it is the only thing that is significant.  The only thing I can feel good about writing right now is asking you all to stop and consider your eternity.  To stop and consider the "what if" scenario.  It doesn't make sense to plan for everything in this temporary life....but to not plan for what is going to happen for eternity.  You can live in denial.  You can pretend that you are never going to die or that something tragic could never happen to someone you love...but you are doing just that...pretending.

That said, it isn't all about what will happen after this life is over either.  The title of my blog is, "My Life More Abundant."  Accepting Jesus and having a relationship with Him makes your life better NOW.  It gives you hope in your darkest hours....gives you the capacity to truly love others....helps you to be the best version of yourself.  Following Him makes this life a more abundant one.  What are you waiting for?  What is stopping you from living a more abundant life and looking forward to a perfect eternity in Heaven?  Please, don't waste another minute...because another minute may not come.  Do whatever it is that you need to do.  Take your family to church.  Don't have a church?  Just find one and go to it.  Don't like it?  Find another one to try.  Whatever it is that is holding you back, identify it, and work on it.  Nothing is more important.  If I sound urgent...it's because I am.  Refer to the above stories and the millions like it that are taking place at any given second.

I could quote a lot of scripture to go along with this...but I'm not going to...because I'm not a preacher.  I am just a regular person, wife, mother, sister, friend.  I want you to know the hope and joy and love and PEACE of trusting God with your life.  Life is too short to live it unfulfilled....and eternity is too long to live it apart from God.

deliverance

I was recently looking through my blog posts and came across a draft that I had never posted.  It was written on 6.21.10 at a time in my life when I had much sadness, doubt, grief, and despair...

"i wonder..."

how many tears have been cried.

how many sighs have been let out.

how many frustrated feelings have overwhelmed me.

how many times my husband has helplessly embraced me.

how many times i've said, "it's just not fair."

how many times i've felt lonely.

how many times i've felt misunderstood.

why us?

why not us?

how much i would be showing.

what 18 weeks along would be like.

if we would know if our baby was a boy or a girl now.

if a name would have been decided on at this point.

when will we be pregnant again?

will i be able to be enjoy it when i am?

how many more losses might we suffer?

would i survive another?

will i get to hold my next child in my arms?

It breaks my heart to think back to myself at that point in time.  There was so much sadness and so much "unknown."  I wondered if our loss would be just one of many.  I wondered what long, dark and curvy road we may be headed down. 

After our miscarriage, it took 9 months to become pregnant again.  9 long, agonizing, uncertain months.  Months of ovulation tracking, planning, stress, and effort. And then, during one month that we had decided to stop trying, we conceived the precious baby boy that we now hold in our arms. 

I am in a much better place today...but I haven't forgotten the woman that wrote the words above...and I never will.  She makes me sad.  But she also makes me overwhelmed with gratefulness.  She makes me realize the mercy and grace that has been bestowed upon us.

Grateful today to be where I am instead of where I was. 

Thank you, Lord!

"For I will surely deliver you, and you shall not fall by the sword, but your life shall be for a prize unto you: because you have put your trust in me, says the LORD." - Jeremiah 39:18

*Our Prize*  :)

pregnancy pangs and His timeline

Tomorrow, I will be 27 weeks pregnant.  Wow!  It seems that this pregnancy is flying by and that it is taking forever all at the same time.  I am getting anxious to get Baby Holden's room finished (and started- ha!) and to really get everything ready for his arrival.  As we get closer to meeting him, the reality that we are going to have a son keeps seeping in more and more.  Having suffered the loss of our first pregnancy, reality is something that I have found difficult to grasp during this pregnancy.  It has been difficult for me to believe that we will actually meet this child.  I have prayed so many times that we will get to meet him, become his parents, and raise him.  I often feel like my faith is not what it should be when it comes to trusting God with this part of my life.  I often feel guilty for my feelings of doubt.  There are many times I think that I am "holding on loosely" to the idea of becoming Holden's mommy.  A little boy that we already have a name for and already love...and yet, most of the time I feel that I won't believe he is going to be ours until he is actually in my arms.  This is the tragedy of pregnancy loss.  It doesn't end days, weeks, months, or years after the loss...it's ramifications, I suspect, are present forever.

It's not the easiest thing for me to admit my feelings of doubt...but I felt led to do so because I know so many, many other women have felt the same feelings...are feeling the same feelings right now.  You are not alone.  While shopping for baby clothing and baby items I have, at times, experienced pangs of panic.  The gripping wave of fear that I could be filling up a closet of clothes for a baby I may never meet.  The "WHAT IF'S?" are a curse...one that I believe all pregnant women experience at some point...but that women who have experienced loss know to a more poignant degree.  At times I have felt that I may be "jinxing" myself by planning and preparing for Holden's arrival.  Fortunately, I am usually able to shove those feelings aside and go on excitedly preparing to welcome this blessing into our lives.

Fear does not come from God.  It helps me to remind myself of this.  It helps me have the strength to shove the fears aside.  I truly believe that we are meant to be this baby boy's parents.  Fear is not from God, but Holden is.  Shon and I had given up the month that we concieved this baby. We had thrown aside the ovulation monitor and tests and to be quite honest, we had only "done the deed" one time that month.  There was absolutely NO way, in my mind, that we would be pregnant.

 I had just gone to a new ob/gyn who had checked my progesterone after I explained to her about our difficulty trying to conceive since the miscarriage.  She listened to me and agreed to run some tests.  (Previously, I had been seeing a certified nurse midwife who insisted that all was more than likely normal and would not even entertain the idea of any testing...despite my tears and giving no value to putting my mind at ease.)  In the couple of days after the appointment with my new doctor, I took a few pregnancy tests (early) that were coming up faintly positive.  I then got the call from my new doctor that my progesterone level was low and that due to that, I would probably be a good candidate to start Clomid (fertility drug).  In this same phone conversation, I told her that I had taken a few pregnancy tests that were positive.  I was then worried about having low progesterone while pregnant.  Instead of starting Clomid, I started progesterone supplements and took them for the first trimester of my pregnancy.  I could choose to believe this was coincidence.  However, I know in my heart that it was God and his perfect timing.  I feel that perhaps God was just waiting on us to find this new doctor so that we could get on the progesterone supplementation and possibly avoid another loss.  Thank you, Lord!

As an added bonus, I found out soon after that one of my very best friends was also pregnant...and we would have due dates just 3 days apart.  Doesn't get much cooler than that.  Another perk of God's timing.  I love it when God shows off! ;)  Also, Shon has now started residency- which means a solid income for him- and I feel that we are truly at a great point in our lives to become parents.

Yes, I believe Holden is meant to be and that we are meant to be his parents.  I still struggle with believing that we will meet him...I cannot imagine the moment when we hold him in our arms... the moment that I have imagined so many times.  In my heart I know that our God will see us through.  He has gotten us through so much already...and it is through His grace that we will finally get to see our son's sweet face.

Verse of the Week - Jeremiah 1:5

Click the button above to link up!

This week's bible verse just happened to be one that is very dear to my heart.  It is so meaningful and powerful.  Here it is:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart, I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."  ~ Jeremiah 1:5

I wrote a post including this verse shortly after our loss...  

You can read it HERE.  

switch shoes

Compassion.

This word has been on my mind heart this week.

Please, allow me to throw a definition from the trusty ol' Merriam-Webster at ya:

Compassion:
- Sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it


Being compassionate is something that I feel comes rather naturally to me personally.  At a young age, I can remember recognizing that I was very in tune to the feelings of the people around me.  I would notice things about people that others wouldn't.  I seemed to almost absorb the feelings of those around me.  I could tell when something was wrong or different.

It is not always easy to be compassionate.  In my job, it is difficult at times to be compassionate to mothers of newborns who are sick or born early due to their mom's drug abuse while pregnant.  It is difficult to be compassionate...to be sympathetic...to the mother, of a baby born at 24 weeks, who tested positive for drugs and has five other children that she does not have custody of.  I struggle with compassion when it comes to these situations.  I have overwhelming compassion for the baby but not always for the parents.  It has been even more difficult for me to have compassion in these situations since I lost a baby I wanted so badly and would have taken very good care of.  It is a blatant smack in the face which says, "This isn't fair."  I have to force myself to be polite and kind and to take time to involve these parents in the care of their baby.  It takes effort sometimes.  All this to say, I am not perfect when it comes to being compassionate by ANY means.  It does not ALWAYS come naturally and it is not always easy.

In most situations, but especially those I can relate to, I find it almost automatic to put myself in the other person's shoes.  I think this is vital to being compassionate.  Think about what the situation would be like for you.  When you do, you may find it easier to be compassionate.  You may find yourself hesitating to make accusatory remarks.  I hope you do.  If it doesn't come naturally for you, make a conscious effort to do so.  Wouldn't it be better to place yourself in someone else's shoes before automatically passing judgement?  After a few times of consciously challenging yourself to walk in the shoes of someone else for a minute, I think you will find that you might start doing it automatically.

My heart hurts when the hearts of others are hurting.  It doesn't have to be someone I know well.  It can be someone I've never even met, but seen on television, or read about.  I feel for them so much that I often feel compelled to do things like leave a blog comment or encourage them because I just want to help their hurt a little or at least let them know that someone is praying for them or on their side.  This is just something that I have noticed about myself....and frankly, I like it.  I don't mean to sound conceited or cocky....but more often than not, I recognize the negative in myself....so to recognize something I like about myself is a good feeling.

The next time you are in a situation where you find yourself quickly passing judgement, take a second and "switch shoes."  That's my challenge for you.  In being compassionate, I know you will bless others tremendously...and you will be blessed as well.

I don't mean to preach.  Well, maybe I do.  Please forgive me.  ;)

Here are some quotes on compassion that I found and particularly like:

A religious man is a person who holds God and man in one thought at one time, at all times, who suffers harm done to others, whose greatest passion is compassion, whose greatest strength is love and defiance of despair. - Abraham Joshua Heschel 


But my experience is that people who have been through painful, difficult times are filled with compassion. - Amy Grant 


Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too. - Frederick Buechner


If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. - Dalai Lama


And last but definitely not least, here are a few bible verses on compassion:

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." - Romans 12:25


"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble."- 1 Peter 3:8


"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."


- Galatians 6:2

a story...

Please, if you have never listened to this song...listen to it...NOW! :)

Every Season- Nichole Nordeman

Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

Don't you love it when someone goes out of their way to encourage you?  To know that someone is thinking about you and taking time out of their busy day just to encourage you.  A beautiful, sweet friend of mine recently sent me an e-mail telling me to listen to this song.  She said, "Isn't God so good that He gives us spring after our winters? I am praying for a sweet "spring" for you in this new year - a time of renewal after a time of loss. I hope this song encourages you."  

I responded to her e-mail and thanked her for sharing the beautiful song.  I also told her that I am just so anxious for the "spring"  to come.  I told her that sometimes I just get sad and can't understand, "Why?"  Why did I have to go through the heartache of losing a baby...a baby so planned for and desired?  Why does it take me longer to get pregnant than (what seems like) most people around me?  Why this?  Anything but this!  Why does this have to be so hard for us?  

My friend reminded me that we all have battles and struggles...whether they be child-related, marriage-related, health-related, etc.  She reminded me that there is hope through our struggles and that God will ultimately use "our greatest struggles as our greatest ministries."


You know...I love that thought.  And...I've had this thought before myself.  I have often thought, throughout this struggle, about the fact that I used to not have any "real" struggles.  I used to actually think about how "easy" I seemingly had it and it was actually a somewhat scary thought because I figured that it must mean "my time" was coming.  I didn't have a story...no way to relate to the deep loss and pain that so many endure....no story to share.  I've thought many times that this is my story.  However insignificant or small it may seem in the grand scheme of things...it's my story.  However much I wish it wasn't my story...it's my story. It's a platform from which I can help others, relate to others, and give hope to others in similar situations.  


I cannot stand before you and tell you that I am thankful for my struggles.  I cannot pretend that I wouldn't wish them away in a second.  But I am thankful to God for giving me something to humble myself...for giving me a way to relate to the pain and suffering of others...for challenging me...and possibly, for giving me a ministry.  A story.  


What's your story?  

Hope

Hope- to desire something with confident expectation of its fulfillment.

This is how the word HOPE is defined in the dictionary that resides in the back of my bible.

This year, I have been required to have more hope than ever before in my life.  Sure, I've hoped for things before....but not for something as big as getting pregnant or having a child.  Never have I hoped for something that I've wanted so much or for so long.  I used to never even imagine having to hope for a child.  When we first decided to throw the birth control pills to the wind, I never imagined that we were beginning a journey of waiting months (that seemed like years!) to get pregnant, of our pregnancy ending in miscarriage, and then waiting months (which seem like years!) to become pregnant again.  And...even when we are pregnant again...the hoping is not over.  We will hope with all our might that this pregnancy makes it to full-term and that at the end of 9 months we end up holding our healthy, first born-to-earth child in our arms.

We all use the word "hope" a lot and we use it loosely.... "Hope you have a good day!"  and "Hope to see you soon!" are just a couple of examples.  But once you've been through something that really causes you to cling to hope (as I know so many of you have) you come to know the desperation of the word and you come to have a relationship with the word...because sometimes in these situations that life throws at you, all you have is hope.  I don't believe we can truly understand the meaning of hope until we've experienced it- until we've sought it out and clung onto it- because it is all we have...because other circumstances are beyond our complete control.

There is more to the word "hope" than we may realize.  The word "hope" should not be used interchangeably with the word "wish."  The definition of "wish" is to want; desire; or long for.

Isaiah 40:28-31 (NIV)

28- Do you not know?  Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29- He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30- Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31- but those who HOPE in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

This passage is telling us that even the strongest people get tired sometimes.  However, God does not.  His strength and power never diminish.  Never is he too tired or busy to help and listen.  His strength is our source of strength.  Circumstances in this life, especially those out of our control, often crush us and make us feel as though we cannot take even one more step.  When we feel like that, we can call on God to renew our strength...and he will.  

Hope placed in someone else, in something, or even in yourself will often disappoint you.  You will feel as though you are hopeless because your wish hope is not being fulfilled.  This is when you must ask yourself with whom or what are you placing your hope in?  If it is not God, it will surely fail.  Hoping in the Lord is expecting that his promise of strength will help you to rise above life's circumstances- life's distractions and difficulties- in whatever form they are playing out in your life.  Hope involves trust.  Hoping in the Lord means trusting in him.  Trusting helps us to be prepared when he speaks to us.  Only then will we be patient when he asks us to wait and expect him to fulfill the promises found in his Word.

Sometimes I feel like I am hopeless because I am waiting...and waiting is not easy nor is it what I want to be doing.  I am waiting to be a mother, to meet our child...something I feel like I have wanted my whole life and something I don't like having to wait for.  This passage made me realize that if I am feeling hopeless in my waiting, then I am not really hoping in the Lord....because I am not fully trusting that he will fulfill his promises.  I am desiring to be pregnant and I am desiring to become a mother....but I am not confidently expecting it to happen.  I am not putting my full hope and trust in the Lord.  If I were, I would not be so quick to despair and to worry and to play the "what if" game.  What if I can't get pregnant again?  What if something is wrong with me?  What if I miscarry again?  What if we never have a child of our own?  These thoughts plague me and cause me to fear and doubt.  If I truly have hope- hope that comes from God and that is placed in God- I should not be saying if but when.  When it happens...not if it happens.  Why?  Because it is going to happen.  And to say "if it happens" is wishing not hoping...doubting not trusting.  It may not be easy to be patient and wait, but I can wait with confidence that it is going to happen.  

So, that's what I'm trying to do.  I may be waiting...but I KNOW we are going to be parents.  God's strength will give me the patience to wait however long it takes...but because of Him...I am confidently and fully expecting to be holding our child in my arms one day.  I am not just wishing for it to happen...I am fully expecting it.  And that, my friends, is the beauty of hope.

Although I cannot deny that I wish I wasn't on this path....I am thankful for what it is teaching me....and I am thankful that I have discovered the true meaning of hope.  I challenge you to hope and not wish.  To trust and not doubt.  To fully expect instead of want.

How Great Thou Art

In church this morning, we were blessed to get to watch an elderly couple get baptized.  They were probably around 80 years old.  When the pastor who was baptizing them asked the wife if she believed that Jesus Christ died for her sins and if she accepted him as Lord of her life, she replied, "Oh yes!"  We could all learn something from her enthusiastic reply.  We should all be so enthusiastic and joyous!  I could not hold back a few tears watching them get baptized.  It was beautiful.

The sermon today was about embracing worship- singing and celebrating what God has done in our lives.  One of the songs the worship team performed was, "How Great Thou Art."  It was soulful, heartfelt, and beautiful....can this song be sung any other way?

I just want to know--- can you listen to/sing along with this song without crying?

I cannot.



P.S. - I love Carrie Underwood. :)

Happy Sunday.  Hope you all have a very blessed week.  There is always a reason to celebrate!

thoughtful tuesday...

A few of you (my new "bloggy-friends" :] ) mentioned that you did not realize that I had been through a miscarriage...(thank you for your sweet comments)...so I will add a few links to related posts toward the end of this post.  This loss does not define me...but it is a huge part of who I am.  I have changed since our miscarriage...and a lot of that change has been for the better.  I have grown in my relationship with Christ.  After our loss, I desperately studied God's word to find comfort...to find strength...and to find peace.  I wish that this was not the reason that I dove deeper into the Bible....but I am thankful that this situation has brought me closer to Him.  I know that many people (many of you, perhaps) have endured multiple losses...or perhaps years of infertility.  I get paranoid that I might come off as over-dramatic or "whiny" about our loss.  I do not wish to take anything away from your situation.  I know that many, many women have been through a lot worse than me.  But...this is the toughest thing that I have personally gone through.

A couple thoughts I'd like to share this morning:

I do not believe there is a reason for everything....but I believe that good things can come from bad circumstances.  I do not believe that God needed another angel...or that God looked down from Heaven one day and picked us out and said, "I'm going to take their baby from them today."  That is not the God I know.  The God I know is loving and merciful.  His will is not for bad things to happen to us.  James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above."  It does not say, "Every bad thing that happens to you is from above."  It kills me when people respond to a loss by making comments such as, "It was part of God's plan."  No, it wasn't.  It was part of the devil's plan that day in the Garden of Eden.  We live in a fallen world -  bad things happen to good people for no good reason at all.....bad things happen simply because they can. God is there to help pick us back up---to provide a peace that passes all understanding, to give us strength and comfort that we do not possess on our own.  He can use suffering to help bring us closer to Him...He can help good come from bad because He IS good.  It is time we stop blaming our loving Creator and Savior for the bad things in our life...and start praising Him for all of His blessings.  Why is it that we are so quick to become angry with God when bad things happen?  Much more often, I hear us blaming God instead of blaming Satan.  Why?  If you are struggling with loss, it is my prayer that you will not turn away from Him but that you will take refuge in our loving Savior - that you will lean on Him for strength and comfort and cling to His promises and that His peace that passes all understanding will be yours.

We need to step back and re-evaluate ourselves.  We have to stop making statements such as, "It was part of God's plan" when trying to comfort those in mourning.  Imagine, for a second, what you are saying to someone who is lost- someone who does not know Jesus as their personal savior.  Do you think they are going to want to get to know a God whose plan was to take their loved one away from them?  We need to learn the gift of silence in these situations.  A hug.  A simple statement and acknowledgement of loss such as, "I am so sorry for your loss" is honest and appropriate to say.  Those are the statements that helped me.  Pray for the person.  It's okay to tell someone that they will be in your prayers....but be sure to follow through.  Stop right then and there and silently pray for that person.  It is very easy to say that you are going to pray for someone....but actually doing it is another story.

Anyway, I realize that perhaps I got a little off track.  These are just a couple of the things I've come to realize through our loss and I feel that they are worth sharing.  I hope that what I had to say above will make sense to someone and that they might begin to see things in a new light.

Here is a link to the announcement of our pregnancy.

Here is a link to a post about what I learned about God and about miscarriage.

Here is a beautiful poem.

If you think any of these posts would help someone experiencing/who has experienced miscarriage, please feel free to share them/share my blog with them.  It was very helpful for me to read about/hear from women who had gone through the same thing.  I hope that my experience may help others.  I want as much good as possible to come from this bad situation.

Have a blessed Tuesday!  Take a moment to count your blessings. :)